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Most sex offenders "groom" their victims prior to any sexual abuse for a period of weeks, months or even years. After gaining trust in the parents, the offender offers to baby sit the child or provide fun activities. During this time, he/she proceeds to groom the child. The perpetrator is aware that the child must be controlled to the extent where he/she can sexually abuse the child without fear of disclosure to another adult. This manipulation may be obtained in many ways: favors, threats, guilt, shame, etc.
A mother revealed her husband played a tickling game with their three-year-old son. The rules of the game was to play with Daddy and have fun—the son was instructed to tickle his father’s nipples while sitting in a straddled position over his father’s nude body from the waist up. The object of this game was, ‘Make daddy laugh.’ Of course, the father could withhold laughing until he experienced the sexual stimulation he desired. When the mother objected to this game, the father admonished her for being jealous of his time with their son.
Another mother was horrified when her three-year old daughter asked her to play the ‘pee-pee’ game. She asked her daughter to explain this game. Her daughter lay on her back on the floor; legs spread and said, “Touch my ‘pee-pee,’ Mommy, that is what Daddy does.”
Fathers often cuddle in bed with their daughters in a spoon position, arm across their mid-body with only underware or pajamas on. Several clients have reported feeling their father’s penis against their legs or back, while not knowing what to do—as they wanted their father’s affection—they didn’t like the feeling of his genitals against their body. This cuddling seems harmless. The women also reported sexual abuse occurred sometime later. Was the cuddling in bed a form of grooming or was the cuddling an ill advised way to show affection with the child that unwittingly led to subsequent sexual abuse? In either belief, the damage is done.
In a study of twenty adult sex offenders conducted by Jon Cote, Steven Wolf and Tim Smith; two of the key questions asked were:
1. “Was there something about the child’s behavior which attracted you to the child?”
• “The warm and friendly child or the vulnerable child. Friendly, showed me their panties.”
• “The way the child would look at me, trustingly.”
• “The child who was teasing me, smiling at me, asking me to do favors.”
• “Someone who had been a victim before [sexual abuse or spankings], quiet, withdrawn, compliant. Someone, who had not been, a victim would be more non-accepting of the sexual language or stepping over the boundaries of modesty. Quieter, easier to manipulate, less likely to object or put up a fight…goes along with things.”
2. “After you had identified a potential victim, what did you do to engage the child into sexual contact?” The responses included:
• “I didn’t say anything. It was at night, and she was in bed asleep.”
• “Talking, spending time with them, being around them at bedtime, being around them in my underwear, sitting down on the bed with them. Constantly evaluating the child’s reaction… A lot of touching, hugging, kissing, snuggling.” [Desensitizing the child with appropriate behavior.]
• “Playing, talking, giving special attention, trying to get the child to initiate contact with me… Get the child to feel safe to talk with me… From here I would initiate different kinds of contact, such as touching the child’s back, head… Testing the child to see how much she would take before she would pull away.”
• “Isolate them from other people. Once alone, I would make a game of it (red light, green light with touching up their leg until they said stop). Making it fun.”
• “Most of the time I would start by giving them a rub down. When I got them aroused, I would take the chance and place my hand on their penis to masturbate them. If they would not object, I would take this to mean it was okay… I would isolate them. I might spend the night with them. Physical isolation, closeness, contact are more important than verbal seduction.
Many clients have reported their sexual abuse grooming started when they showered with a parent—or the parent/caretaker washed the child’s genital area with bare hands and soap long past the stage a child can attend to their own genital hygiene. While for some this activity was the extent of the covert sexual contact, but for others it evolved into overt sexual abuse. Even though the activity was only ‘rubbing’ the genital area ostensibly for bathing purposes, many people have suffered classic aftereffects of sexual abuse.
How? You might ask, would the child experience sexual abuse by having their genital area washed with bare hands and soap? The answer is simple. At birth, children are complete neurological sexual beings who can experience erotic sensation although they are sexually immature and without an active sex drive. Furthermore, the child experiences the adult’s physiology, which has sexual overtones, thus although the child doesn’t have a name for the experience the child knows something has changed. Within the definition of sexual abuse it is abuse, “If a child cannot refuse, or who believes she or he cannot refuse she/he has been violated.”
Grooming or sexual abuse activities include:
• Playing pool tag—when the child is tagged ‘Playfully’ pulling the child’s swimsuit down.
• Pulling her panties down without her permission.
• Male holding a child on his lap while he has an erection.
• Kissing the child in a way that is sexual for the giver and inappropriate for the child.
• Seemingly innocuous touching, caressing, wrestling, tickling or playing, which has sexual overtones or meaning for the other person.
• Adult treats the child as an equal/peer, pseudo or surrogate spouse.
Unique and less frequently reported grooming activities:
• Male demonstrates and instructs the child how to suck on a peeled banana without breaking or putting teeth marks on it. Once the child has complied and masters the skill; this activity is shifted to his penis—often using the con—“I have a big banana between my legs, you can suck on it.”
• Male initiates a game of ‘sucking the jelly’ out of my big toe. Once the child has complied and understands the ‘game.’ This activity is shifted to his penis.
• Invading a child’s privacy, such as entering the bathroom or bedroom without knocking, catching her/him unaware or indisposed. This invasion is a power play—disempowering their victim—indoctrinating the child to comply with the adult’s authority and control in all situations and circumstances.
• Enemas or frequent inspection of the child’s genitals ostensibly for health reasons.
In the twenty-five years I have worked with sexual abuse survivors in the healing process, I have discovered a child is rarely subjected to only one type of sexual abuse. Furthermore, I have learned the sad truth about the human mind’s ability to seemingly conceive of endless ways to sexually abuse children.
Resource: Conte, Jon R., Steven Wolf, Tim Smith. "What Sexual Offenders Tell Us About Prevention Strategies." Child Abuse & Neglect Vol. 13 (1989): 293-301.
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With sincere apologies to Dr. Suess I begin this article (I just couldn't help myself). But seriously now folks, fetishes are probably one of the most confused areas of sex around today. What exactly is a fetish? According to World Book psychiatrists see a fetish as an abnormal sexual attachment for a lifeless object. Attachment yes, abnormal? that's in the eye of the beholder. Fetishes are so widely varied that it would probably take an entire web site & then some to cover them all so we'll attempt to cover some of the more common ones here. Not being psychiatrists here we will not delve into what makes people become so vitally attached to these fetishes but hope that others would learn to accept these people & their fetishes without judgment. Like I always say, "Whatever makes your boat float".
A Galaxy of Fetishes
Fetishes can run the entire gamut, from the mundane to the bizarre. Basically a person who has such a fetish requires that object, or item, to be included in their sexual play to become aroused or have an orgasm. One very common fetish is men who will wear women's underwear, both during "normal" hours & then during their sexual play. Unlike the man who has a curiosity about women's underwear & will dabble with their use, a person who has an advanced fetish must have these items present to become sexually aroused. This should also not be confused with a transvestite, although many transvestites do have a women's clothing fetish. Possessing a fetish for these frilly items in no way makes any man less of a lover, or man for that fact. Other fetishes included in the clothing department are rubber, leather & vinyl. The person with a fetish of this type usually truly enjoys the feel (or look) of these particular items & derives great sexual stimulation from their use.
Another very common fetish is the foot fetish. Shoe salesman jokes aside, a person with such a fetish will become highly aroused when confronted with what they would consider a "good looking pair of feet". We have even found clubs devoted to foot worship. Although most fetishes are not very specific we have heard of one person in this category who has taken the foot fetish to the infinite. He requires a female foot with a minimum of 1" long nails dressed in a Greek sandal. Hey if your going to do, do it all the way. In conjunction with the foot fetish are variations & off shoots. One such fetish is called Trampling. This involves a willing recipient to be walked on with bare feet or even a set of spiked heels! Kind of sounds like the Japanese massages you see in the movies! Another offshoot of the foot fetish is what is known as Shrimping. Shrimping is the act of licking between ones toes & nibbling on their toes. Personally I don't mind doing this myself & I never really considered myself as someone who had a fetish. Other variations of this foot fetish can include things such as spiked heels (we've seen photos of up to 12" ones) or any other type of specific foot covering.
One fetish that has very much come "out of the closet" in today's society is what is called Body Modification. Simply put these people enjoy either, or both, the act of tattooing & body piercing. There was a time when these practices were more or less keep quite, but as we all know, this has become very popular & very public. Unless you have been living in a cave for the past several years, you have probably heard of or seen someone with VERY private parts of their bodies pierced including nipples, the penis, the vulva & yes we have even seen a woman with her clitoris pierced! Many say this piercing heightens the sensations of intercourse. We recently saw a TV show about a couple very much involved in this. His penis had several piercings & was adorned with several rings. When the interviewer asked the woman if it hurt her during intercourse she smiled & said, "it's the best sex I've ever had."
Discussing any such fetish should be met by the partner with great compassion & understanding. A person willing to admit to a fetish of any nature to their lover requires them to basically bare their soul to them. Understanding that these fetishes are usually not harmful in any way must be kept in mind while discussing a lovers fetish.
Even though many people use the term to describe things they like as a fetish, fetishes go much deeper. Some deep psychological needs must to be filled before the person can enjoy sex. Some of these fetishes are harmless and can be dealt with within the bounds of normal life, however some may represent deeper problems. A partner to someone with a fetish must judge for themselves if they can cope with such a fetish. As with anything else in an open sexual relationship either partner should have the right to refuse something that deeply bothers them.
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Only you are able to decide which path is best for your needs, but do keep in mind that the herbal approach is safe to undertake and has many benefits. What are some of these benefits? The herbal approach uses the endocrine system of your own body to increase your breast size naturally and safely, adding size, firmness and fullness. It is your own tissue growth. Your body does it by itself. The results are long lasting and you have your own naturally larger breasts.
The most dramatic and unique effect of the herbal approach comes during the early stages while your body is changing. As you begin to see and feel your body shape changing, a new and wonderful relationship with your body takes place. Your body is like a new friend, bringing you new levels of happiness every day while providing delight in the gradual changes taking place. It is a journey of body re-discovery, as what has often been merely a dream now becomes a reality. Even more than the tangible physical changes that take place to your appearance, you begin to realize a daily increased feeling of self worth. Other important benefits include the safety of using all natural ingredients, comparative cost effectiveness, and heightened feminine physical sensations in the breast area and throughout the body.
Why Choose Herbal?
When beginning your journey of transition, you are offered a barrage of options to consider. Though temporary, the choice of breast forms is the most easily accessible. Hormone therapy is another choice available to you, characterized by high cost and a level of physical risk. The more drastic alternative of breast implants comes with a high level of complications and risk over a lifetime. Breast implants can be cost-prohibitive and need further surgical intervention often in 3 to 5 years and in at least 8 to10 years. And then there’s the herbal approach, which can result in substantial and impressive results with significantly lower risk, minimal cost and virtually no adverse side effects.
Using all-natural herbs, significant long lasting results of up to two or more cup sizes are being routinely reported. The percentage of people who are getting good or excellent results approaches close to 100% satisfaction for herbal breast enhancement programs that are individually monitored and adjusted. The most successful programs use ingredients based on concentrated herbal extracts that are 10 times the strength of standard herbs.
A personalized herbal program is about a tenth of the cost of breast implants. The safe, non-invasive and low cost herbal approach has many advantages not found in any other method. The herbal approach is the only one that heightens breast sensation so that you feel the same sensual and sensory effects in the breast area that are normally experienced only by women. Surgical implants will reduce sensation to the breast area and almost always result in a partial or complete loss of sensitivity. By way of comparison, herbal breast enhancement has few if any side effects. Other than some temporary tingling, itching, or even soreness felt in the breast area, a normal occurrence while your breast size is increasing, you will notice softening of the skin and hair, rounding of the hips and a noticeable increase in sexual libido.
So you’re thinking, “Sounds great, but how does it work?”
How Does It Work?
Estrogen, often thought of as the “female” hormone, but also present in males, is critical for sexual functioning, boosts the immune system and supports bone growth. Estradiol is one of sixteen different types of human estrogen. It is the estrogen responsible for a long lasting size increase in the breast area.
The key to a natural and long-lasting breast size increase is stimulating the body to produce a large quantity of its own human estradiol. When human estradiol production increases beyond the necessary threshold level, it will go to the breast tissue where it binds to the estrogen receptor sites. Every person, regardless of sexual orientation, has literally millions of unused estrogen receptor sites in the breast area that can be used for size increase.
Most herbal products found in today’s market do not contain the necessary component that stimulates the endocrine system to produce its own human estradiol, but rather offer only phytoestrogen, or plant estrogen. Human estrogen is from 200 to 1000 times more potent than phytoestrogen and bonds strongly to the estrogen receptor sites in the breast tissue. The drawback to just using phytoestrogen-based herbals for breast enhancement is their inherent inability to bond strongly to the human receptor sites for any length of time. Although these plant estrogens will go to the breast tissue and provide temporary results, you will have to constantly use these products to maintain any size increase.
So how do we get long lasting results?
We tap into the power of your human body as an efficient biological factory. With our personalized program we introduce a separate set of herbs that are adjusted for each person’s body to stimulate the body’s endocrine system to produce its own human estradiol. Now, when your body finds the plant estrogen we bring into your program it will use it as the ideal building blocks for creating your own human estradiol. When your body produces its own human estradiol you achieve long lasting results.
When the correct amount of concentrated phytoestrogen is readily available in the body, the body uses very little energy to produce a large quantity of human estradiol. The results are your own naturally larger breasts, made from your own breast tissue. It is real, it is natural, you did it yourself, it is long lasting and it is authentically you.
What to look for in an effective herbal breast enhancement product:
Dosage: The best products for TG use are based on herbal ingredients that are highly concentrated extracts. Herbal breast enlargement products not based on extracts are usually too weak to give significant results for TG. A typical women’s formula will deliver less than 200mg a day of the needed ingredients, while an effective TG program will provide ingredient dosages in the range of 15,000mg to 20,000mg a day. Without using concentrated extracts, the conventional capsule requirement could be an impractical quantity of 100 or more capsules a day.
Ingredients: You will find Saw Palmetto in almost all of the herbal formulas available in the market. It is one of the richest sources of plant estrogen. Other significant and common working ingredients are Wild Mexican Yam, Fenugreek Seed, Fennel Seed, Pueraria, Red Clover and Avena Sativa. However, to get a long lasting result, the single most important herbal ingredient is Lepidium Meyenii, commonly known as Maca. Be sure your breast enhancement program includes Maca in an extract 10:1 concentrate. This is the most important ingredient for attaining results that will last for years. With Maca present and adjusted to the proper personalized dosage, you will not have to continue on any herbal regimen once you have achieved the size you want.
Starting Evaluation: A successful program should include a personal evaluation. Because each of us is unique, it is important for you to choose an herbal program that will factor such details as your age, weight, height, metabolism and level of physical activity, as well as your breast size objectives and goals. Other factors affecting personalization are caffeine and nicotine use as well as digestion and any other issue that might adversely affect an individual’s personal progress.
Follow Up: Follow-ups are a crucial part of any successful breast enlargement program. Each individual’s program should be reviewed in 30-day intervals for analysis of individual progress and to assist in what can be done to help the client get the best results possible. Your customer service representative should be knowledgeable. You should have personalized treatment. Be sure the sales staff members are not merely “order takers” but consultants that care about your progress and success. Toll free access to your personal consultant is an equally important factor in choosing your program.
Results: Are the results long lasting? A properly formulated and administered program should take about 180 days to get the long lasting results you want. The most effective breast enlargement programs will strongly stimulate the body to produce its own human estrogen. This in turn will convert any phytoestrogen that is provided by the breast enhancement program into human estradiol, which gives you long lasting results. You only have to take those products until you get the size you want and then you can stop taking the product while keeping the size you achieve. Effective programs have achieved results that are very near the 100% success rate.
Product Comparison: Do your research. There are significant differences between breast enhancement products. Look carefully at the ads & call the companies that advertise with us to compare. Remember to look for the information you have just read and then make your choice with wisdom and care.
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Naturally Treating Genital Warts is far preferable to a number of other options available.
For one, you can treat genital warts in the privacy of your own home. For another, you and your spouse need to undergo treatment at the same time. How likely are you to get your spouse to go to the hospital or doctors with you?
Having a sexually transmitted disease can be embarrassing, especially if you are an innocent recipient. While the Christian ethic of staying faithful to, and honouring your spouse, is taught for just this reason - preventing and/or limiting the transmission of STDs - many people in today's world struggle with sexual addiction problems, and inadvertently pass Genital Warts, Genital Herpes or other Sexually Transmitted Diseases on to their spouses.
Admitting, even to your doctor, that you both have the condition, can be difficult. While doctors and gynaecological specialists are excellent in treating these condition, they are somewhat limited by what they can prescribe or offer as treatment.
Some Treatments for Genital Warts include:
- Freezing (cryosurgery)
- Electrocautery (burning)
- Prescription medicines (including Podophyllin - best applied by a medical practitioner as large doses can have severely harmful side affects)
- Poisons (Podophyllum / Phodophyllotoxin)
- Laser surgery
- Other surgery
All of the above can either have harmful side effects, or can lead to irritation, discomfort and scarring. Genital Warts may appear on the penis, vulva, urethra, vagina, cervix and around the anus.
The ability to Naturally Treat Genital Warts is available, though not widely known to the public as yet.
A Natural Remedy for Genital Warts is topically applied (i.e. no pills and no drugs). A recommended natural treatment for Genital Warts has already been effectively used to get rid of Genital Warts by hundreds of people around the world. If you need to Treat Genital Warts, and if you are reluctant to use prescription medications or undergo surgery, it may be worth trying this Natural Home Remedy Treatment for Genital Warts. It is certainly cheaper, has no known side effects, and comes with a 60 day money back guarantee.
If you have it, don't spread it. Genital warts can lead to cancer of the cervix as well as other cancers. It can also cause complications during pregnany, child-birth and can be passed to the infant with life threatening complications. Of the more than 100 types of Genital Warts, 30 are sexually transmitted. Over 25 million people living in the USA have Genital Warts and more than 5 million new cases are reported each year. Be safe. Stay Faithful. Get Treatment.
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The face of a man is usually an open book to most women. They can read practically anything in our faces. I’ve known ladies who could tell if the size of my penis, bank account and sex life by taking only one look at me. Of course, the look was followed by the lady’s departure in the opposite direction to where I was standing. Failure always leaves a mark on your face, just like success does. And women can read those marks awfully well. It’s even worse when you have a small penis and failure tends to follow failure in a pattern that grows bigger every day.
The first thing women notice about a man is his confidence level. A stoop-shouldered man with a downcast look has very little chance of actually getting a date from a decently-looking lady. On the other hand, a broad-chested guy with a confident look in his eyes and a swagger in his step is sure to catch the eye of most women. He may not get every single pretty babe, but he’ll sure as hell be noticed by each and every one. And trust me, nothing gives a man more confidence than a big penis. A man who knows that the schlong dangling in his pants is big enough to satisfy any woman walks around with an “I don’t have a care in the world” kind of aura. And women notice that
You can bet your life that women notice that. Women don’t care a lot what a man says, since most men have little to say that interests a woman. But they pay strict attention to the subtle signs in a man’s attitude. Women think: “If he looks confident, then there must be something about him that makes him so confident. This could be interesting”. And a big penis is your ticket to that show of confidence that is not an act or a sham, but the real thing. Are you suffering from low-confidence and anxiety? Are you afraid that women may look down on you? Then penis enlargement is the solution for you. The minute you stop worrying, it’s their turn to be anxious.
A big penis has a lot of benefits and no downsize that I can think of. Well, maybe if you decide to increase your penis size to 9 or 10 inches; that would be a problem. But if you stick to a nice 8 inches, then you’ll reap all the juicy benefits. Increased confidence, increased stamina in bed, increased control of your ejaculation, longer sex sessions and more pleasure for you and the lady, all these can be yours. Anxiety, depression and low self-esteem have no chance against a big penis and rock-hard erections that last much longer than before. Women will be impressed by the hefty dick that just keeps going and men will eye the bulge in your pants with envy. Now that’s what I call turning the tables!
