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Is this an all too familiar scenario? Hot and heavy loving with hungry kisses and tender caresses that promise orgasmic bliss for both you and your eager partner when all of a sudden you're one thrust past the edge, the dam bursts and it's over. You're finished, "spent" and ready for sleep. She's still waiting for more, perhaps wistfully contemplating a purchase of that acrylic vibrating dildo her friend has been raving about.
Well, you're not alone in this too-quick-for-her-climax intercourse. The "average" man makes about 50 thrusts before he ejaculates. For most women it takes approximately 10 minutes of active intercourse to reach orgasm. Even the most optimistic lover can see these numbers just don't add up! But don't roll over and nod off yet, there are some simple things you can do to bring your partner and you much closer together.
These male/female discrepancies in timing are part physiological and part habit. Physically men's and women's arousal rates vary widely, but for the most part women become fully turned on much more slowly than men. So a great way to make sure you're both happy with your love life is to include lots of foreplay. Help her reach orgasm with your fingers, tongue, and lips before you even start to have intercourse.
Secondly, most men's experience with sex starts out as rather furtive masturbation, a quick release in the bathroom or under the bedcovers before someone can see what's going on. Then onto early sexual experiences with a girlfriend in back seats of cars or in a basement rec room, again in a hurry, before she changes her mind or her parents come along to change it for her.
Now when you have the time and space for long lovemaking good old John Thomas is still back in the "I've gotta come now" days, and he's not going to slow down just because you tell him to. That's like asking a guy who's trained as a sprint champ to bring home a gold in the 5000 meter instead. He may well be able to make the shift but he's going to need coaching. You can train him with your mind, your muscles and your breath or a combination of all three. It's not entirely up to you either, your loving partner can assist, after all it's for her benefit as well!
The first step is to become aware of your own levels of arousal. Experiment, take your time and give yourself a very real self-loving exploration, not just a quick masturbatory release. Notice how your penis moves through distinct changes before orgasm and ejaculation, he's not just soft and then hard and spewing.
There are four defined stages of erection: lengthening and filling; swelling; full erection; rigid erection. The fourth stage, rigid erection, characterized by a penis that's very stiff (a boner) and very hot, signifies ejaculation is close at hand. Through attentive self-arousal and the playful hands of your sweetheart you can learn how to stay for longer periods of time in the exciting, but less explosive, third stage of firm erection. When you feel yourself moving into the hard, hot level stop stimulation, relax and pay attention to your breathing. Breathe slowly and deeply.
The Power of Breath
Conscious breathing is a key for extended lovemaking. Rapid breathing excites and arouses you. Slow, controlled breathing, way down into your belly, calms you and helps delay ejaculation. Focusing on your breath takes your attention away from your genitals. Synchronizing your breathing rhythm with your partner's strengthens your connection with each other. Adding sound to your breathing can also help you ride the edge of pleasure. As you exhale send out a deep lion roar. Feel the sound come from your scrotum, up through your belly and lungs and out your mouth as a powerful release of the orgasmic tension building inside you.
You can use some of the following "muscle techniques" to postpone ejaculation as well.
PC (pubococcygeous) Muscle Contraction
This is simply squeezing your pelvic floor muscles, around the scrotum, penis and anus as you feel ejaculation approaching. An easy way to practice this is to interrupt your urine stream when you are going to the bathroom.
Perineum Pressure
Pressing on the perineum, a spot midway between your scrotum and your anus, will help to stop ejaculation because this spot reaches through to the prostate gland. It is the prostate that contracts and expands during orgasm and then expels the ejaculation fluid. Ask your partner to apply this loving pressure for you.
Testes Tug
When a man nears orgasm his scrotum rises up closer to his body. You can delay ejaculation by gently pulling your testes down and away from your body. Your partner can also do this for you.
Penis Tip Squeeze
Squeezing your penis just below the head or glans can help to stop oncoming ejaculation. It necessitates withdrawing completely from your partner during intercourse, but is an excellent way to begin practice on your own with masturbation.
Passion Pump
This technique, which combines squeezing the PC muscles, rolling your eyes upward, touching your tongue to the roof of your mouth, and visualizing your sexual energy flowing up through your body while you practice controlled deep breathing is one of the most effective ways of delaying ejaculation. It's a Taoist sexual kung fu technique that has the added benefit of helping you circulate your sexual energy through your body rather than having it remain hot and heavy in your genital region.
Special Tip
It is easier to delay ejaculation by focusing on moving your sex energy through your body rather than focusing on not ejaculating. Stopping movement, relaxing a little and breathing deeply and slowly will all aid with this practice.
The Importance of the Prostate Gland
When you practice delaying ejaculation it is very important to massage the prostate gland, so that it doesn't become sore. You can do this by pressing on the perineum. The prostate can be felt as a bumpy walnut shape beneath your fingers. Especially delightful is massaging in circular motions, first clockwise and then counterclockwise, with a piece of folded silk on the perineum spot.
Thrusting Technique
A superb thrusting technique that brings great pleasure to a woman and helps a man to last is a combination of deep and shallow thrusts. By shallow thrusts we mean your penis only enters 11/2 to 2 inches inside your partner. These first couple of inches are the most sensitive part of a woman's vagina. Deep thrusts mean your penis enters as fully as you can.
In this technique you combine a series of nine fairly quick shallow thrusts with one slow deep one. The shallow thrusts stimulate your partner's most sensitive vaginal tissues and at the same time create a vacuum effect that makes her ache for the deep thrust to come. And because most of your thrusts are shallow ones, exciting only the first few inches of your penis, you're able to rock on for much longer!
Mind over Muscle
Practicing squeezing your PC muscles will enable you to gradually become so familiar with your genitals, that you will be able to discern each separate muscle group and contract/relax them at will. At first you will tighten your genitals and everything will contract at once. Later you will be able to contract your anal muscles without moving your penis or scrotum, or pull up your scrotum while your anus and penis remain relaxed, or bob your penis up and down while nothing else moves. Eventually just a thought will relax everything, especially your smooth genital muscles, sending your hot sexual energy shooting through your body, not out the end of your penis, but instead into your partner through eye contact, intercourse, or touching.
Smooth muscles are internal muscles over which you normally have no conscious control. You may not have been aware that you have smooth muscles. They're muscles like your heart muscle, the muscles that push your food through your digestive tract and the muscles that push the sperm and semen out the end of your penis. Becoming aware of your smooth muscles and eventually gaining enough mastery to be able to consciously keep them relaxed will enable blood to flow into the penis, maintaining an erection almost indefinitely - certainly long enough to satisfy the most demanding partner, through and through. Gaining control over the smooth muscles in your genitals is the key to maintaining your peak sexual arousal for long periods of time -- even long enough to experience whole body orgasms, rather than simply genital orgasms. In a whole body orgasm your entire body becomes an exquisite erogenous zone, much like your genitals always are. You can actually reach orgasm when your lover is rubbing your chest, or sucking on your toes and fingers, or nibbling your ears and throat. The magical key to opening the doorway into multiple whole body orgasms is relaxation of your smooth muscles, no matter how aroused, excited, or turned on you are.
Train your mind to think of something other than ejaculation. Thinking "I don't want to ejaculate" is still thinking about ejaculation. You must have something else to focus your attention. We don't recommend reciting sports stats or in any way diverting your attention from lovemaking. It is essential that you be fully present from moment to moment. But instead of thinking about ejaculation, or worrying about ejaculating too quickly, we suggest you think about pleasing your partner. Learn to take pleasure for yourself in the pleasing of your partner. Notice how she reacts when your tongue is exploring around her clitoris, but also notice how her clitoris feels on your tongue. Notice how she enjoys when you suck on her nipples, but also notice how her breasts feel pressed against your face. Notice how she moans when you gently run your fingers up the inside of her thighs, but also notice how her skin feels so soft and warm against your fingers. With your attention fully engaged in this way - on your partner, your breath, your genital muscles -- you are going to last a long time. As your lovemaking goes on, and on, and on... perhaps for hours, the energy within you and between you and your lover will accumulate to such an intense level that you may spontaneously experience the opening of your higher "spiritual" centres. With this opening comes an experience of ecstasy, bliss, joy, and wonder. This is where mastery of ejaculation can lead you and your satisfied partner.
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pennis enlargement operation
What's the average size of the penis? What are the extremes?
According to specialists, the average is 15cm and 90% are between 13 and 18cm.
The records for a fully functional penis are 1.5cm and 30cm.
Can penis size be increased?
Yes. There are two surgical procedures to increase penis size-- the Bihari Procedure, and Fat Injection.
The Bihari Procedure consists of cutting the ligament that secures the base of the penis to the body. This gives between one-half and two inches of increased length to the penis; however, because the penis is no longer anchored to the body an erection no longer points 'up.'
Fat Injection is the process of removing fat from the backs of the thighs and injecting it into the body of the penis to make the penis thicker. Because the body rejects a significant portion of the injection this procedure may need to be repeated several times and each operation carries with it a severe risk of infection.
What is circumcision and why is it done?
Male circumcision is the surgical removal of the foreskin from the penis. When performed in a hospital, it is usually done shortly after birth by a doctor or midwife. Circumcisions are also given to Jewish boys by a mohel in a ceremony eight days after birth.
Some Islamic boys are circumcised when they are older, around age 12. The majority of American boys are circumcised.
Common reasons for circumcision include: better hygiene, "normal" or "better" appearance, and "his penis should look like his father's."
Common reasons against circumcision include: it is no longer necessary for hygienic reasons; it is a painful, barbaric practice; possibility of infection or surgical error; "normal" or "better" appearance; "his penis should look like his father's."; and "greater sensitivity of uncircumcised penis."
Hope this clears some mysteries for you.
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Have you ever thought to yourself, "My sex life would be so much better if my partner was a just little more/less _________"? Yes, you have. It's happened. Human beings are all unique, with all sorts of physical and psychological variations that aren't always ideal for the ultimate sex life. Don't despair, however! Technology has brought us leaps and bounds forward in the search for sexual pleasure. Sex toys are no longer limited to cheap, plastic, phallic-shaped things. There is a wide variety of fun, useful products designed to improve our personal, loving sex lives and strengthen our relationships. So if the man of your dreams just happens to be a little under par in the size department, or you find yourself wanting more than he can give, it doesn't mean you can't have ultimately satisfying sex. Read on…
Problem 1: "He's too small"
There are a few solutions to this problem, if indeed this is a problem at all. Many men who are below average size-wise have learned to use other parts of their body to their partner's grateful benefit. But if his little guy just isn't satisfying you, there are quite a few things to try. First, try different positions: let him take you from behind while you squeeze your legs together, or lie on your back with your knees at your chest and your feet over his shoulders. These positions allow deeper penetration, tighten your vaginal canal and increase sensation for both of you. You can also have him try a penis enhancer. These come in all sizes and shapes to lengthen, thicken, support, and satisfy whatever need you both may have. Third, work your PC muscles. A good set of Smartballs, an updated version of Ben-Wa balls, will strengthen and tighten your internal muscles. With your vaginal muscles primed and toned, you'll be amazed at how much more you'll feel during sex.
Problem 2: "He's too big"
Sorry to disillusion you, guys, but bigger isn't always better. A huge member doesn't always guarantee pleasure; it can often cause pain for women with tight or short vaginal canals. The best solution to this problem is lots of foreplay! Spend lots of time getting her excited using your hands or mouth. When she's ready, slather on a healthy dollop of lubricant and ease in slowly. Silicone-based lubes tend to work best for easing the friction of a tight fit. If he's really long, try a set of penis donuts. These fit tightly at the base of the penis so he'll still receive stimulation, but they're wide enough keep him from going further in than she's comfortable with. Some positions to try: her on top, so she's in complete control of penetration and speed. Side-by-side also limits how deeply he can penetrate.
Problem 3: "He wants it all the time"
If your partner is always after you for sex, and you're never "in the mood," you may be setting yourself up for some serious long-term relationship problems. Try not to think of this as his problem; there are a number of solutions you can enact that can directly affect you. Some things to try:
*Make sure you're keeping a healthy sleep schedule – Not enough sleep leads to a reduction in testosterone, the hormone that gives you a healthy libido.
*Take active responsibility for your sex drive – Figure out what turns you on, don't leave it to your partner to guess. When you pinpoint what gets you in the mood, do it often, share it with your partner, whatever it takes to enjoy yourself.
*Identify and work out issues with your body image – The better you feel about your body, the more likely you are to enjoy sex. This may require getting a gym membership or scheduling counseling.
*Initiate sex, even if you're not in the mood – By taking the reigns, you take control of the situation, which can be a major turn-on for you. You don't even have to go all the way. Oral sex or even manual stimulation will make your partner equally grateful, and can rev up your own lagging libido.
*Fantasize – Let your body and mind get in the mood without the pressure of having to perform or please someone else. Find a fun vibrator or other toy help you enjoy your alone time. The more you exercise your libido, the healthier it'll become.
Problem 4: "He doesn't want it as much as I do"
Biology has set us up for a cruel trick: as we age, a woman's sex drive goes up while a man's libido starts to fall behind. While many women fear this is because they have become less appealing to their partners, in most cases, this couldn't be further from the truth. Here are some things you can do to help yourself out:
*Masturbate – When you need to take the edge off, close the door, turn on some music, and spend some quality time with your favorite rabbit vibrator.
*Make sure it's sex you're after – Identify whether you're actually craving sex, or if you're looking for love, intimacy, affection, or a stress-reducer. There are other ways of receiving these without depending on sex.
*Know your partner's appetites – Learn what turns him on and off. Explore all the options of the things they enjoy, broaden your repertoire of sexual knowledge, and be sure to mix it up. A simple sex swing can make your sex lives seem brand new again.
*Utilize the quickie – Sex doesn't always have to be an hour-long excursion. Use lots of lubricant and make the most of whatever time you have.
Take an active role in improving your sexual happiness, and you'll find that you both benefit. Life changes over time, and your wants and needs will forwever be fluctuating, so be sure to communicate, work through whatever issues you may have together, and don't be afraid to try new things. Satisfaction comes to those who work at it!
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So, Where’s the Infamous “G-Spot”?
The term "G-Spot" was first introduced to the public in the book, "The G Spot and Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality" in the 1980s. It referred to an article from 1950 in the International Journal of Sexology in which gynecologist, Dr. Ernest Grafenberg wrote about erotic sensitivity along the anterior vaginal wall.
While many people have read or heard about Grafenberg, few have read his actual words. In reality, Grafenberg only uses the word "spot" twice and he uses it to make the opposite point to the way it has been popularly used. He states "there is no spot in the female body, from which sexual desire could not be aroused. Innumerable erotogenic spots are distributed all over the body, from where sexual satisfaction can be elicited; these are so many that we can almost say that there is no part of the female body which does not give sexual response, the partner has only to find the erotogenic zones."
The Grafenberg spot (G-Spot) is said to be a sensitive area just behind the front wall of the vagina, between the back of the pubic bone and the cervix. Beverly Whipple, a certified sex educator and counselor, and John D. Perry, an ordained minister, psychologist, and sexologist, named the G-Spot after gynecologist Ernest Grafenberg (1881-1957).
Dr. Grafenberg was the first modern physician to describe the area and argue for its importance in female sexual pleasure.
His claim is that when this spot is stimulated during sex through vaginal penetration of some kind (fingers during masturbation, penis or other object partly thrusting into the vagina), some women have an orgasm. This orgasm may include a gush of fluid from the urethra -- sometimes called the “female ejaculation” -- however, many experts do not agree on this. It is not considered urine? Is this real? Many gynecologists and physiologist still argue and the debate will probably continue.
There has been a large amount of controversy among sex researchers regarding this theory. For women who have felt this gush of urethral fluid, or for those who have found a new pleasure spot, having a name for it confirms their experience.
But remember, not all women are sensitive in this area, so be careful not to set up unrealistic expectations for yourself. Try it out; if it works, great, if it doesn't seem sensitive, try to find the spot(s) that are right for you! And of course, enjoy!
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If you're asking yourself that question, then somewhere within you there must be a desire to forgive the infidelity of the other person. After all, if you knew 100% for sure without doubts that you definitely should NOT forgive, then you wouldn't be entertaining the question, right?
You would have already said your goodbyes and would be moving on with your new life and licking your wounds. You may or may not have trust issues in your future relationships depending on how you processed the infidelity in your past. But what if you are struggling with the question? What then?
Well, EVERYONE has split personalities within them where separate intelligences are split off from the central stem of your Soul and use the Archetypes created and used by the Hurt Inner Children.
Hurt Inner Children, split personalities are split off from the Central Soul personality when the person gets traumatised usually more in childhood by the painful and corrupt actions in life.
These many Hurt Inner Children splits flow in and out of your consciousness and it is these split personalities which use the Strategies like the Violator, the Poor Me and the Selfish Competitive Star in order to get the attention and the Love of everyone around them.
These split personalities are normal and exist to different degrees in everyone. And this is how we change our minds.
As a different split comes in, another point of view takes charge.
Also these splits within yourself are like idiot children which have abilities above the normal like Dustin Hoffman in "The Rain Man" movie.
The special abilities I want to talk about this time are the split personality's ability to be in control of your Love and Sex Life usually called "The Unconscious" because only they and "The Enlightened" have complete control over these so called, "Unconscious" parts of our psyche.
These splits can manage, stop or start the flow of sexual energies from your psychic sexual connections, between your lower chakras and the lower chakras of the person THEY Choose!!
These childish split personalities within you choose your husband, your wife and then they cut off the sex connection with your partner and transfer the connection to someone else, thus creating adultery, or the serial monogamy many people practise.
The split off parts of your personality are the cause!
Gurdjieff said that a normal person, split into many parts, "Cannot make a Promise". As Gurdjieff said, "The person that says I will get up early in the morning is not the same personality who throws the alarm clock out of the window!!."
And the split falls in love with a person for childish reasons, and the split again falls out of love for the same childish emotional reasons.
Because they control the Psychic Sex Connection, streams of energy between you and the other; between the sex organs, the penis and the ovaries and between the abdominal relationship chakras, all you notice is that the energy of sex is there in full one day, and the next it is gone!!
To my Energy Enhancement students, I often ask the Koan, "Who is in Charge?" And the answer in nearly all cases is that the split off parts of their personalities are in charge. As we remove the Soul Split Personalities. As we integrate them, through healing them back into the Central Soul Personality. Our central Soul personality becomes more in charge. We find more and more, We Can Make A Promise!
Sex becomes better, day by Day!! This is the real Sexual Tantra.
The problem is that these ego strategies always hurt the people around them because they change every day. One day in love and whispering sweet nothings, the next the violator personality to gain attention!!
Eventually the ego strategies they use to gain attention stop working and the people around them throw them out. With ego strategies, if you are rich everyone puts up with them, their job depends on it, but no-one likes them. If you get thrown out then you move on to another victim.
Without someone pointing out the discrepancies in your behaviour, you probably will not notice them.
The Denial and the justification of past mistakes come from the childish split off parts of yourself.
As the False Negative Emotions of Anger, Manicism, Seeking Sympathy and Attention, Depression and Fear are Eliminated, Emotional Integration with the Intelligence results in Willpower and the Power of Doing.
This higher functionality is the result of healing these Inner Children splits! Which use the Strategies are the Poor Me, The Violator, The Selfish Competitive Star, The Aloof, The Interrogator, The Don Juan or the Vamp, The Pleaser, Blamer, Critic, Tyrant and Last but not least, the Self Destructor!
The first thing is just to notice when you get mad or sad and how you use these strategies, and have used them since you were very young, to manipulate all around you into giving you attention and love.
When the traumatic nature of life, the Strategies become stronger and then your strategies will get stronger and more intense. People eventually get sick of this strategy manipulation for attention and so-called Love.
If it worked when I was a child, then surely it must work now? WRONG!!! Alcoholism and drug addiction to make people sorry for you. Wife beating to get their attention!!
This is not the true way to gain friends and influence people.
You need to actually see that it might be a good thing to STOP!!
Then you need to find out how.
Everyone will use all of these strategies at some time in their lives. Usually people cycle between them. As one fails they try another, stronger one. And then will be sorry and swear that they will never use them again.
It needs an Ancient Advanced Synthesis of Effective Techniques for Gaining More Energy - Meditation, Shaktipat, Energy Circulation, The Kundalini Kriyas, The Five Elemental Paths Of The Chi Of Chinese Alchemical Taoism, The Grounding Of Negative Energies, V.I.T.R.I.O.L, The Art Card Of The Thoth Tarot, Access To Kundalini Energy, Strong Psychic Protection, Learn The Merkaba, Pyramid Protection, Power Tower Protection, Create The Antahkarana, Soul Fusion, Monadic Infusion, Logos Infusion. The Painless Removal Of Stress, Trauma And Negative Emotion
However, to remove these sub-personalities completely, the more Advanced techniques of a Synthesis of Ancient Meditational Techniques are absolutely necessary:-
Leading onto the more advanced Techniques of The Karma Clearing Process. Learning how to clean The Karma From Past Lives, Future Life, Future Lifetimes, Integrating Soul Fragmentation And Retrieval of Inner Children, Selfish Ego Sub Personalites, Life Destroying Strategies, The Aloof, The Interrogator, The Violator, The Selfish Competitive Star, The Vamp Or Don Juan, The Pleaser, The Blamer, The Critic, The King, The Self Destructor, All The Destructive Vows From This And Past Lifetimes,.
Which results in The Creation Of Self Love, Love And Service.
Ponder on this…
